Who do I think I am or who am I?
I do not believe that I am a particularly interesting person, but if anybody is interested in information about me they should have access to correct information. This is especially so, because I believe that someone has attempted to create the wrong image of me and the people close to me in recent years.
I have sent a lot of e-mails since 2011 with, for example, a summary that I called ‘Reports to the Police’, the content of which I should have checked better. Sadly, it seems that someone at some point manipulated the content prior to distribution whilst I was writing.
Therefore, the summary that I sent (which should never have been sent) must be ignored even though some of the content is probably correct. It could be that words that were added or removed by others will give the impression of a completely different person than I am. This also applies to others. It’s inconceivable that it’s possible to do this.
The police should, of course, have ensured that there was an adequate safety network around me to give me enough time to process and check information. I was both anxious and afraid of what had happened. This also had an impact on the content I sent.
Someone has committed several criminal acts against me both before and after May 2011, such as the stealing of data, stalking me and attempts to throw suspicion on me for acts in which I was never involved, all of which should have been stopped back in 2011. However, they continued for years afterwards.
Nevertheless, what has been done, has been done and what has happened, has happened. It’s just to leave it behind.
Now a bit of information about my family and I. Who do I think I am or who am I?
I would just like to give some brief details here about myself, my upbringing and family due to the above-mentioned reasons.
When considering my upbringing with parents and siblings, I would say that I have lived quite an average Norwegian life with some deviations. As many families, we have experienced a bit of everything.
We lived at Snarøya up until I turned seven or eight when we moved to Hong Kong to live for six months in connection with flagging out the family’s shipping company and my father’s job. When the family returned from Hong Kong, my parents divorced and settled in Ullern in Olso.
My father remarried and moved to Kristiansand where they lived for quite a few years before moving abroad. My mother continued to live in Oslo with my siblings and I. We moved to Smestad/Vinderen and she also remarried. She was a stay-at-home-mum throughout most of our childhood. I believe that our family life with both our mother and father remarrying has generally been the same as other families in the same situation. In childhood years, we regularly visited our father and step-mother, both of whom I consider to be good people, and their family. They have many children.
For practical reasons, we moved some times with our mother on Smestad/Vinderen and between Smestad/Vinderen and Ullern during childhood.
Our mother passed away in 2007, and I believe that most of those who knew her well perceived her as a considerate and caring person.
She underwent periodic treatment for some time at a psychiatric hospital before her demise in 2007. It’s natural for me to be open about this considering past events.
I can’t remember the exact periods, but whilst attending upper secondary school (I think it was parts of the first, second and third year) I lived with an aunt, an aunt and uncle, my grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side, and my father in connection with my mother’s admission to hospital. My siblings lived with other aunts and uncles and one of my brother’s with his father. All of them are good and kind people, who were there to support us. It was nice to live with them for a few months for various reasons. One of my aunts has always been incredibly nice to all her nieces and nephews, and another aunt and uncle with whom I lived were the same, but in a slightly different way. My grandparents have always been kind people as well. I remember that my grandfather on my mother’s side wanted me to wear brown shoes from the 50s, which was a somewhat new experience. Perhaps it was a lesson, albeit a kind one, to make up for the more expensive shoes my grandmother gave me a few years earlier. Some of my aunts and uncles were also more financially well-off than my mother and to tell the truth that also had a positive kind of impact on the confidence considering what our family went through. I believe my aunts and uncles were generous to us then, and an uncle and aunt were also generous to my mother giving her a job for a few years.
Due to my age at that time, my mind was on almost everything else but my parents. For example, school, the occasional party and, in my case, girls. I think this is common for many at that age.
I’ve never owned “millions or billions” to my relatives for their kindness but I owe them gratitude for that, but that must not be mixed with any disagreements or anything that has been after. Mixing things only makes a mess. My father and step-mother considered moving from Kristiansand to Oslo because of the circumstances then, and bought a house here, but plans were changed for reasons one can understand. One of the reasons why we didn’t move to Kristiansand was because of school.
Why different decisions were taken, and things were exactly why they were like, are of course complex and must not be interfered with by others.
Moving several times as a child did not adversely affect me or, I believe, my siblings. With regard to myself, I can say that I had an eating disorder for a few months whilst at upper secondary school for complex reasons, however it disappeared itself after a friend commented on it.
Having divorced parents always leads to financial differences and, if one also has step-parents, it impacts the surrounding situation as well. In short, I would say that my family’s finances on both sides has fluctuated somewhat at times, as family finances do for various reasons. Due to the differences in our family and between relatives and experiences in my life as an adult, I have experienced what it is like to have and not to have more than what one needs.
As for myself the last few years after 2011, I either lived on welfare or the work assessment allowance, although I don’t believe I deserved to do so. Today, my personal finances define me – not what other people might have. This has really been the case my entire adult life since I left home. I have never been rich and even though one might have hopes and goals for the future when young or immature, the idea of earning a mass of money has never been vital factor for me. I would not take someone’s life to become rich.
Everybody who knows me, for example, from my school years, know that sport was my favourite school subject, or at least that’s where I had ability, and this was also expressed in my work between 2005 and 2011 with the sports system that I worked with. Participation in sport gives me immense pleasure. It has also gradually emerged that I am not that bad at system concept development either. Being able to do something that meets my needs is meaningful to me. This could mean doing different things, but doing something that meets my ultimate needs is the most natural thing for me to do. It’s also meaningful to do something that everybody else is not doing or to do something that makes me feel I get to use the strengths I have as an individual.
When looking at people living ordinary lives and treating themselves to various types of material luxuries, I do not think that I am particularly demanding. Nor have I managed to get married and start a family (A big “Thank you” to those who have been very helpful in creating these problems the last few years. They are very ‘considerate’ people indeed.)
Materially, my siblings and I were probably fortunate compared to some others in phases during our childhood, yet there were also times when we were not. Often an advantage can be a disadvantage. Many parents work a lot and this can affect the time spent with their children. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Norway and millions, or billions, of people who are pushed for time. This is neither terrible nor abnormal. It’s just the way life is for many people and people make different choices in life. There is no reason to become obsessed with situations that arose in our family.
People are, of course, also affected by society and the environment.
As an adult I’ve lived quite a modest life, which I continued to do after I inherited some money from my mother in 2007. For example, I drove an Opel estate car after 2007, which I paid NOK 30,000 for. That’s how I’ve lived. I concentrated on creating a livelihood for myself with the project I was working on and that is also the reason why I am working on my current projects. These are independent of the State, Royal Family or any other entity or being, which will become clear when the projects gradually transpire and become more visible to those interested, as well as those familiar with the related circumstances.
Today, my interests have moved to where they were between 2005-2011. I have learnt a lot, but as mentioned above, there was a price to pay, as I should have been living a normal life during this period. Conversely, a large network of sick people created immense problems for me.
Many people are affected by finances in their lives, for example, changes in income, an increase in the value of property or other investments (which many people have been fortunate to experience) and many people inherit something, etc. Such things are often beyond our control. Because of this, people focus on what they can actually create for themselves from the opportunities that arise, and focus on that and nothing else – not the things that are beyond their control. I do not believe that it is immense wealth that makes one happy in life and I do not believe that the goal of earning more and more money in itself makes some people ultra-rich. On the contrary, I believe it’s because they have passion, are clever, lucky and blessed within a specific area of expertise. Furthermore, they probably enjoy what they do, and I also think common sense, being conscious about laws and right and wrong is important for long term success. That being said, I do not know what other people think. I can only express my own opinion. People are different.
The places where I’ve lived can confirm what I’ve conveyed about my family’s finances. Perhaps I’ll return to this later with a series of images of the places where I lived with my family during early childhood onwards. We lived in a large house (by Norwegian standard), normal houses and apartments. As an adult, I lived in a small apartment in Rykkinn for a few years after 2001 or 2002 until 2010 when I moved to a larger apartment in Rykkinn after inheriting some money. I then moved to Stabekk for a couple of months before moving to Snarøya in summer 2011. Thereafter, I moved to a small apartment again in Husebybakken before moving to my current home. If it had not been due to circumstances beyond my control, i.e. external negative influences, I believe I would have been more than financially comfortable to buy my own home from the money I should have earned a few years ago, but it was not to be that way – most likely because of the people who committed several crimes against me.
Because I moved quite a lot during childhood, I attended a few different schools, but I never had any problems with adapting. I never caused any problems at school and if anybody claims otherwise, they are lying. I was a fairly quiet pupil. Although, in hindsight I do recall a couple of regrittible incidents when I during my school years, but not many. Certainly, there were also a few embarrassing moments as well, but doesn’t that apply to many people?
If I were to say something about the people in my family, I would, of course, say they are all kind and good people. My siblings are fantastic, my father is great, I had a wonderful mother and I have or did have great step-parents. When I say siblings, I group them all together under one term whether they are full-siblings, half-siblings or step-siblings. I would say that all my siblings are good people, as are my step-mother and step-father who was married to my mother for some years.
Looking at my father, he has always carried out his work in an orderly and proper fashion, kept appointments and followed laws and regulations. At least, to the best of my knowledge.
If comparing myself to my siblings I believe they are better at solving practical technical problems than me. I am more oriented towards system or concept development and to create something to cover needs of course relevant to myself, and I have gained some understanding through patent applications and the system planning I have worked on after 2005. We have done different things in life and have different interests. The fact that I did something that no else did was, of course, the reason why other people became interested in it.
Otherwise, I believe that most families have problems and there is no reason to claim that we did not. The main problem was probably linked to my mother’s admission to a psychiatric hospital.
As I mentioned earlier, she was periodically a patient at a psychiatric hospital for from the early 1990s until her demise in 2007. The related circumstances were demanding at times, especially prior to admission. During this period, she also had intervals of good health and functioned well. From what I understand, this was largely due to depression prior to 1996 and in later years other things. I would say that a combination of reasons led to the multiple admissions after 1996. Therefore, blaming one party is perhaps unfair. I will return to this later.
I would describe her as a caring and kind person, but the situation surrounding the admissions was hard on her, as well as my siblings and I, in particular. Many people could probably confirm this. I believe that the admissions after 1996 were a result of external influences, which obviously were damaging for both her and us.
Regardless, I have never had any plans to take revenge as a consequence of this. We were affected by losing her in 2007. That’s just how it was.
If I were to describe our relationship, I would say that it was good in the years prior to her demise, but emotionally exhausting before the admissions. This cannot be denied.
In terms of my siblings, they were outstanding with our mother. That is, both my sister and brothers. I can say that everybody did the best could during the periods when she needed psychiatric support, and that also applies to me. I am not saying that everybody did the right thing, but they did the best they could based on their understanding of the situation. No one is infallible. Some became anxious and stressed out prior to the admissions, and in my view she was not to blame for that. It was more the result of earlier admissions, mistakes or delusions that were not caused by ill-will. As mentioned, assigning the blame for mistakes can be difficult, at least when it is based on what I know.
In my opinion, it was good that the psychiatric hospital supported her when she needed their help, but the treating institution could have handled things better at times. Nevertheless, they did the best they could and helped her many times when she was extremely low. So, even if I had my personal opinions and was sometimes irritated about this, it did not escalate into anything else. I saw that they helped her many times when she needed it, even though it sometimes made things worse. However, I do not believe that any ill-will was intended. Just a lack of understanding. It’s possible that the treating institution disagrees, but they are allowed to do so.
I understood the circumstances surrounding some of the admissions more than my siblings, as I saw what she found difficult. At the same time, I am not certain now that I knew everything. Occasionally, I have wondered if somebody sent information to her over a period of several years from my personal computer without my knowledge to it. I have no idea who. If it happened it shouldn’t have, but this is part of the past now and really isn’t anything to do about.
Even if I occasionally disagreed about threatment or admissions, I always put it behind me later despite making a couple of reports to the police and one or two complaints. Such experiences are taken with you into later life and in some situations you can look back at them with slightly different emotions. It’s just part of life. Normally negative experiences are taken as a lesson to be learnt. I believe so anyway. Often it’s possible to shake off the negative and focus on the good when allowed.
Making reports to the police and complaining in that way was my way of handling my emotions when I believed things went to far. Everybody who has followed me since 2011 knows that this is how I handle matters when I perceive them to be unfair and I believe someone is going too far. I didn’t always understand the explanation for the admissions and therefore I once requested a transcript of my mother’s medical records. I noticed quite a few mistakes or misleading text, so I tried to help with corrections. Whether it was correct of me to address this, I do not know. I tried to help the best I could. Sometimes it was difficult to see things clearly when she was admitted, therefore, nothing that happened before 2005 should be weighted and taken out of context now. In my opinion, the description I am writing here is a more accurate account of the actual situation. Disagreement can always arise in situations, however I am not using situations as a basis when defining people I know. Brief and long-lasting thoughts and emotions are not the same thing.
For example, my own stay at the Vinderen Psychiatric Department and Vår Frue Hospital in 2015 taught me the importance of sleep medication/sleep-onset drugs during difficult or eriods. As I pointed out to the treating institution, it should have been given to her before she was involuntarily admitted. I was right at that time, but no one listened to me. I am not angry with them now, but I believe they made a mistake. However, it wasn’t very easy for those around us to see. Not even my siblings. I was watching carefully at that time and noticed that she wasn’t sleeping and it was creating problems. From what I understand, if a person does not sleep over a long period of time, it can trigger something called a psychosis. I’m not referring to one or two nights, but a prolonged period of time when one could also be exposed to other types of strain.
Nor am I referring to situations when one is awake until the early hours due to working or partying for those who do that. Occasionally, I’ll work until one or two in the morning myself. When I do so, it’s only because I’m passionate, enjoying what I’m doing and wanting to get something finished.
It would be lie to say that some mistakes did not have consequences. I’m not saying that to hurt anybody, I just believe it’s the case. It’s like being a healthcare practitioner in that mistakes can be made. As previously mentioned, people are not infallible.
In terms of the help she received at the treating institution, I would still like to thank people with no exception at the institution for the help they gave to both her and our family, even if irritation and disagreements arose whilst carrying it out. Therefore, I would like to thank Ellen, Pelle, Torgeir and others who were there. I have not used their first names because I know them personally, but because they are familiar with my mother’s stay at the institution. I have not had an ongoing agenda against Vinderen Psychiatric Department after my mother’s death, even if I sometimes have thought back on what has been. But, as mentioned, no plans have ever been made and ‘revenge’ has never been something I have considered. In my opinion, I am just not like that.
A consequence of the admissions was that I sometimes felt that I was responsible, and this was one of the key reasons why I was curious about her medical records. I wanted to help her in order to prevent future mistakes.
It’s fair to say that the shoe pinched in different places for all of us before my mother’s admission to the hospital. Therefore, we reacted differently as well. In addition, there were the age differences between us and I was the oldest. It was perhaps only natural that I understood the most and that the treating institution was more considerate towards those who were the youngest. If that was the case, I understand.
A brother and sister-in-law also became part of the family at some time. They probably understood even less, but I’m sure they occasionally dwelled upon this as well, but there was no ill-will. Perhaps it was sometimes a lack of understanding, but I’m not sure about that. They are good people, but sadly many people are delusional about mental disorders and it can cause more problems instead of solving them. Some people associate them with danger, which is regrettable. Perhaps this stigma was created by dishonest people.
I believe that the danger lies in attacks against people and the way society deals with them. Not that this causes suffering to people. If people are conscious of their own actions and take responsibility for them, in addition to being concerned about how they treat others, they will not normally need to worry about anything. At least, that’s what I believe.
No one shall interfere with the affairs of my family and relatives. They are private. In terms of the events that happened after 2011, I expect that to be respected. I am open about this because it is so easy for others to describe something differently and incorrectly, and I believe that someone has tried to manipulate people with financial motives. Sick people are behind this. People who could have made serious mistakes over a period of several years both prior to and after 22nd July.
It can be guaranteed that my mother never had anything to do with 22 July, she passed away in 2007. However, I ask myself, “If someone spread my personal data could it have in some way impacted her demise?” If so, I am not to blame. Those who believe that she had something to do with 22nd July are not in touch with reality. She was ill when she passed away in 2007 and never spoke to anybody about anything that came close to terrorism. Everybody who was in contact with her at that time knew that very well. Nor was she a friend of Wenche Behring, Anders Behring Breivik’s mother. Wenche Behring was only a random neighbour who lived 100 metres from her and someone with whom she had a random chat now and again. Nor has my family or relatives ever had anything to do with the death of a former friend’s brother. Those who believe otherwise are sick.
For several years after 22nd July, some people tried to create a distorted perception of reality, so it would not be surprising if the same people tried to do the same for several years prior to 2011. I also believe that we are talking about a somewhat brutal environment; not normal people like my family. My family has never been involved in any form of organised crime.
Otherwise, I would like to say a few words about my many cousins in this video without naming them due to the spreading of my personal data without my consent.
Of course, it should not be necessary to correct this, but all my cousins are good people. Earlier and currently living aunts and uncles were/are normal and good people too. As in all families, my relatives experience and deal with different problems during periods of their lives. People are people. That’s the way it is in my family, as in all other families.
A network of people has been causing problems for me for some time, because of a project that I was working on. I am not vengeful as long as clearly unacceptable activities do not become permanent, although I believe that the people involved should receive help from the mental health service, as they have made the wrong choices. They have tried to manipulate me and others in a way that could have turned me into a psychiatric revolving door patient. I also believe their choices have led to other consequences. If I wasn’t able see this and wasn’t aware of their methods, they might have succeeded. So, perhaps it is only right that they have a taste of their own medicine at least once. People should not act in the way they have. Regardless of who they are.
Otherwise, I am an average Norwegian man in most ways and I have never tried to draw attention to the events of recent years beyond being justifiably irritated at times over someone misusing my personal data, the stalking and because I believe that some parties have ignored information regarding the affairs that have gone on around me. I have been open in the videos I have published on YouTube, as I believe the case is important and that information has been ignored.
Unfortunately, I believe that someone has been wanting to cause problems for me and maybe also to people i know, as mentioned earlier, and I also wonder if people have been manipulated.
As said, the internal affairs of my relatives are internal and no one shall interfere with them.
I have also tried to draw attention to my project earlier, but those who have misused my personal data have undoubtedly made it difficult for me to pursue this further in Norway.
More about my personal qualities in brief
My strengths are honesty, I suspect I’m quite strong psychologically in some ways, maybe system- and detail oriented when something is important to me, and perhaps my focus sometimes by co-incidence has been in directions other people just haven’t paid enough attention to? I mention this because someone needs to know that I will never yield to those who try to affect the affairs around me by dishonest means. I believe my main strength when I was younger was in sports as I attained top grades in sport at lower and upper secondary school, which not everybody managed to do, so I had ability in that area. I wasn’t the brightest at school. I had to study a lot and solve many exercises to obtain good results. I didn’t feel that I could get to know teachers well, probably because of how I am. I believe I have had a tendency in school of getting quite anxious when I was to perform in groups of people, especially talking in front of many people, and thinking back I wonder if a mild medicine for general anxiety disorders could have helped improve my ahcievements sometimes, especially when talking in front of people. Im not sure that would be a right way but it had been one possible way. There could also have been other ways to deal with such anxiety. I believe part of the reason was that I sometimes wasnt really comfortable with the subjects and didnt prepare enough, and for that reason having a feeling of losing control. Especially during my studies I should definitely have avoided alcohol.
Many people are much better communicators than me and therefore it also easier for them to get to know people. That’s just the way it is. In my opinion, I am not particularly good at writing either. Cutting and pasting has to be done in order to get it right, but I feel that if I work hard enough it tends to go well. In the early years at school, especially, I hated getting tasks that involved writing school essays. To put it this way, such academic tasks were not my favourite even though the Norwegian teachers were great. I’ve never been an aspiring actor or a good singer or particularly good at reading out loud.
When recording videos, I’ve just done it to the best of my ability. Several of my videos have been recorded more than once before publishing, not because I have anything to hide, but because it is important to convey the right message and content. I haven’t published videos for the fun of it, but because I feel it is vital to be open. It’s crucial to process and work with information to express it correctly, unambiguously and clearly. Some things could probably be done better, but I do the best I can. In my view, the events after 2011 have gone too far and things have become complicated. Therefore, it was sensible to spend sufficient time on them.
When under pressure, I’ve experienced a slight loss of the ability to communicate, especially when referring to the periods when I was stalked. Consequently, the ability to concentrate and focus becomes impaired. In my experience, this leads to the loss of the power of thought, because your thoughts are forced into a direction that draws attention from normal and more important things, and when the power of thought or clarity is weakened, self-expression is affected too. This was my situation in periods for quite a long time after May 2011. As an example I remember a video I recorded in 2015 in which a couple of words were wrong. It does not affect anybody, as I have conveyed the correct information in the published videos at my blog.
It has occurred to me that this might also apply to other people, not just me, therefore people should be allowed to check what they have said during police video interviews and ask, for example, “Did I use the right words when expressing myself? Did I say the most important things?” Combining text and video with later publishing on YouTube has been a good way of processing the content, because it is also a matter of responsibility and have to think about it twice.
It’s not easy to laugh about the past years after 2011, but I do possess a sense of humour. I can laugh and have fun, as well, but I feel that some of the events that occurred after 22 July are tragic.
Otherwise, I think it can be a coincidence if you stand out from the crowd. If you follow a different direction, you will have new experiences that others might not have had, which could mean that you will continue to stand out from the crowd.
It’s possible that this does not have much to do with intelligence. Having said that, there could be different ways of being intelligent? Perhaps, it’s about understanding needs and spending energy on trying to meet them? Perhaps, honesty is also a form of intelligence?
Since unemployment exists in Norway, going forward I think it is more meaningful to spend energy on being innovative in a field others are not, rather than taking a job for which 200 other jobseekers are competing.
People are dependent on society and those around them if they want to move in a different direction. They are dependent on surviving and the survival of those around them, as well as the goodwill of others.
Being focused is also important.
My psychological state
Even though there have been special circumstances the last years, I feel that I have been fortunate in life. I’ve had my family and relatives around me, a place to live, food and drink. Not everybody has had that and through my experiences, particularly after 2011, I understand that it’s possible for people to get problems that the average person normally does not have, and that people can get pushed or manipulated into different kind of “unlucky” business, or end up in it simply because of a need for money to cover most important needs such as food and drink. I don’t think that necessarily has something to do with genes, maybe more social influence and social security in areas where people live.
The events surrounding me sometime since 2011 were wrong and those responsible have gone too far. My personal opinion is that a mental health disorder must lie behind their actions. I have never been involved in a criminal environment, and as far as I know, neither have the people close to me. It’s just crazy to believe that I have had anything to do with acquisitive crime and the dealing of illegal substances, simply because I haven’t.
I have always been a fan of following laws and rules, and this consciously steers my psychological state. My awareness of the latter is strong and I believe it always has been. With the different challenges that I have faced in life, I always seek solutions that comply with laws and rules. Perhaps, I have been lucky to be able to think and live this way. Yes, I have also done some mistakes in life, but not any serious crime.
Of course, I can become angry or annoyed if anybody breaks my boundaries or the law and that affects me personally. But not to the extent that I lose control over my actions, except, perhaps, in connection with some e-mails or tweets I have posted. I do believe today that all the e-mails or tweets I have posted since before 2011 probably could be justified, or excused by actions of other people. I think it would reveal itself if all information about what has been going on these years had been revealed. Some emails were undoubtably a consequence of anxiety and therefor psychological stress because of the abuse of my data or people stalking me, and as I have mentioned in my blog some of the information I shared has even been manipulated by somone without my knowledge to it prior to sending it. Some peoples actions has definitely influenced negatively on my life by dishonest means after May 2011. Some may also have tried to help, but that didn’t really solve the problems for me.
Why didn’t my project get any attention from at least one Norwegian newspaper in 2011? That is a big mysteri to me, because I think that would have solved many problems if someone had informed the public about the project history. It should have had attention.
The world of psychology probably says that “everybody has a limit” for what they can tolerate of torture or other types of abuse, and if anybody went too far with me, there are many options and methods available to deal with it. For example, I could leave the country, report something to the police or find another solution to the problem. It’s possible to become resistant, and put up a barrier against some types of abuse and fight the people responsible. I would say that I might have developed some kind of resistance to the things that I’ve experienced. I guess that’s the case for most people. One learns how to handle different problems in different ways. Perhaps it can be compared an immune system that develops antibodies to a physical disease.
The most important thing that I learnt from my stay at the Vinderen Psychiatric Department and Vår Frue Hospital in 2015, was that sleep medication/sleep-onset drugs can be a very important aid when someone is under immense pressure, which I believe I was prior to admission.
I think the stay there was unnecessary but people were nice there and I got a new experience. I see it as a good thing today.
The best guarantee for one’s future is probably to be apologetic for the mistakes one has made and let others be apologetic for the mistakes they have made. Maybe people should be given sufficient time to do this.
I do not have any children and have never given my genes to a sperm bank, doctor or otherwise. I have never been exposed to incest.
Nor do I know anything about the children of my relatives beyond that they have normal parents. I was delusional about this when admitted in 2015, due to the data theft and the stress other people caused, and this could probably partly explain the admission.
With reference to the delusion that I had at that time, I would say that if a woman is artificially inseminated by a person other than the one she was told would inseminate her, it is rape. In my opinion, all normal people would have expressed compassion towards the mother and child.
Having said that, I do not have any knowledge of anything similar happening to my own or anybody else’s family.
Difference between fantasy and reality
Let’s take a bit of time to think about fantasy and reality. Reality does not play a role in the world of fantasy. One can fantasize about almost anything. When addressing this topic, I am not discussing the permissibility of the content of fantasies.
Anything is permitted within the boundaries of the law. But consider a fantasy about having sex with one person, i.e. a woman, as it would be in my case. Such contact might have consequences in the form of a permanent disease or becoming entangled in something bad or you might just regret the later consequences for other reasons.
With regard to myself, I have many fantasies about women, but I am, of course, aware of what is right and wrong. Knowing the consequences of turning something into reality restrains you, even though the fantasies you have are not illegal. I would think this applies to many people.
So, fantasies may not be realistic, and most often they are probably not, but that’s a different matter.
People must be allowed to fantasize.
Difference between fantasy and attempting to understand crime and terrorism
There is one more thing and it cannot be said enough: “I have never written anything about the planning of crimes or terrorism.”
I have sometimes attempted to understand the psychological part of people committing crimes and terrorism, but that’s as far as it goes concerning crime and terrorism.
Briefly about momentary irritation and privately expressed words on a computer or those uttered due to other people’s crimes committed against me. Not relevant to others.
In my opinion, it is acceptable with brief episodes of irrationality, as long as you can control your actions.
For example, looking back at events that happened 10 years ago (the time frame is irrelevant in my case) it would be possible find something that would cause momentary irritation from that time, but no strong feelings that would cause me to lose control over my actions. If anybody wonders how I feel and think about various individuals, subjects or relationships, they should talk to me and not speculate.
Having said that, if I had been aware of the way someone stole some of my data, and the way it has been misused, I would certainly have been more conscious of what I typed. Not because I have something to hide, because I haven’t, but because of the risk of abuse. Not everything should be taken literally and if someone takes something literally that is not intended to be taken literally, they are just delusional or sick. Someone should have clarified things with me, then uncertainty would have been erased many years ago. But this is where the financial motive comes into the play, i.e. my project, and the crimes the party committed against me might have had consequences they did not see coming.
If this does not constitute a crime, there is something very wrong with Norwegian law, so wrong that it makes me wonder if the authorities understand what actually creates problems for or in society.
I believe there is a big difference on self-expression (what people write privately or say privately when only they are only present themselves) and what people communicate to someone. Self-expression can be like air regardless of contents. What do people mean by saying or writing something? Is it interpreted the right way? Is it only a matter of a short term emotion? Do they mean something seriously or is what is said just a relief for frustration? Or has it another kind of meaning? On the other side, when people communicate something to someone it can be in order to try to influence on someone in some way. That can also be misinterpreted but my experience the last years says is that either police, secret service and others may have had a problem distinguishing these kinds of expression when for example tapping or monitoring someone without their knowledge to it. I think it’s vital for people to talk to people to get an opinion of someone’s real state of mind and real opinions.
Occupation and studies
I believe that the fact that I have not been in paid work after 2011 is a consequence of corruption or mistakes made by the police or authorities, and their unwillingness to stop the crimes committed against me. That being said, I burn to complete the sports project I started on in 2005 and to work on a couple of new projects one of which can be used with that project. In other words to work with something that I feel I am able to contribute towards, where I can use my experiences in ways that feels meaningful, where I see needs to be met, and that has a certain framework that provides me an income.
Because I worked on the sports project for so many years, I found ways to work creatively with system development during the concept phase. I know the system in and out, and wonder if anybody can do that part of the job better than me. But regardless of who is better or worse I think I have how found the right way forward. I will continue thinking out new ideas to improve it and others are welcome to use my ideas and system plans on licensing terms I have indicated on my blog (I will get back to a licensing afreement later). It’s as simple as that, and I think one of my new projects will show that unique ideas are vital for projects like it. It simply wouldn’t have existed without me.
I don’t think I have the right experience, abilities and knowledge to work as a manager for a large company. Had my project developed in a more normal way since 2005, and especially after 2011, maybe I would have seen differently at it.
I worked for a couple of years as a home help until August 2004. It was a random job that I fell upon and I took it because it was vacant and I needed a job. The manager was both clever and nice, as were my other colleagues and users. I liked the job in some ways, but I wouldn’t have been happy in the long-term. I need a job that enables me to better use my energy. I don’t have anything against cleaning, shopping or helping people, but if I was to clean for a living in the future, I would have to run a professional cleaning business to earn as much money as possible. Having said that, I have other plans for desired my future work. It suited me at that time and I am grateful that I was given the job.
I started my sports project the summer 2005 from a loan of NOK 100000 I was granted, and then later received a grant from Innovation Norway in 2006/2007 of NOK 200000. That was the most important financial contributions for the project. It was not a large budget for any rich person or a large business but manageble for a private person and sufficient to be innovative.
I worked part-time at Ikea for a couple of years from 2006 to get an income and concentration on my project replaced that job in the second half of 2008. The basic idea was only to make an online system that enabled players to challenge each other over the internet. My mother’s demise in 2007 gave me the financial opportunity to spend more time on the project and to plan a more complex system. If I hadn’t inherited the money in 2007 I don’t know how the system would have developed, but under normal circumstances, I believe I could have found a way to carry on the work. I would then have continued my job at Ikea or somewhere else, it is even possible I had married someone, and I or we would have had an income to support a continued development. Possibly in another pace. It’s impossible to know. The point is that there would have been many possible outcomes. I think any outcome would have been better than what has been after 2011, and also before.
In this respect, my actions were not unlawful, but I had mixed feelings when my mother passed away. At that time, I had no idea that someone was logging my keystrokes and systematically misusing them in the way they did.
Whilst working on the project, I realised that creating something connected to sport, which was my strongest subject at school, was meaningful. I suddenly found something I liked to do and the results of my work would also give me something that a random job could not.
Anybody else who says they are behind ideas, plans and ownership of my solution are lying. I never did any programming but programmers were engaged and paid to program my ideas. Going forward I am pursuing my rights with the considerations I take, regardless the opinions of anybody else, and will allow anyone to use my work according to a license agreement I am yet to complete on terms I have indicated on my blog. The patent applications I filed in 2011 and after, and other relevant files/documents and email-correspondance, are evidence that confirms I am the person behind the project. If people are not lying it should also be possible to find witnesses that can confirms my story. I never got a patent but I firmly believe the system was patentable because of the method I figured out for using the clock or time to run tournaments. That would comply with the requirement inventions in all countries have of having a technical side. In a few countries a technical side was not even a requirement, so if I had sufficient support from someone after 2011 I don’t think it’s impossible a patent application could have led to something. But again it’s impossible to know if things had been different before and after 2011. If I had more experience on running such projects I would also have done things in other ways, but I think it has been possible to foresee some of the challenges that I have faced relating to the project. It has really been unreal. I was not the one to engange programmers in Pakistan for the project but the Norwegian company I engaged, and agreements were made regulating the ownership. Anyway I think it is sad that things got out of control in 2011 because all people engaged in it would probably have gained in the long term by sticking together with me.
Prior to 2005, I had certainly not established what I wanted to do. I had tried a bit of everything and not really found a field that I felt was right for me to pursue, which was of course not a crime. I had a few small jobs before 2002, such as delivering newspapers, a small cleaning job for a short period of time and I drove a messenger service van a couple of months. I also tried working for a Danish constrcution company in Oslo for some weeks but the framework for the job wasn’t good enough, and a few years later I also worked for a Norwegian construction company for a couple of months.
I was a bit hung up after my education on the fact that I felt I wasted a lot of time on frivolous things. I wasted time that should have been spent on intense studying. This had nothing to do with other people. I was not mature enough to study and my focus was all wrong. I liked systematic thought, which is what micro and macro economics is often about. Even though I should have studied more, these subjects were the easiest for me. If it was possible to go back in time today and make my choices again, I would probably have chosen a different study institution for personal reasons. University was great with good and pleasant lecturers, I perceived other students as being nice, and it was known for being a very good university.
My generous mother gave me an apartment before Year 2000, which I sold. Amongst other things, I considered moving to Bergen to get a job and settle there. I tried doing this, but due to circumstances I moved back to Oslo after a few months. In Bergen, I rented an apartment for a few months in Kvernhusveien, Ytre Laksevåg. I also looked at apartments in Bergen with a view to buying and I talked to an employer about a job. The signals were positive, but as mentioned, I returned to Oslo. The money obtained from the sale of the apartment gave me financial security for a period of time. External factors contributed towards my thoughts about settling in Bergen.
I moved there to get away for a while and that’s also the reason why I changed my last name for a couple of years, which I later changed to Borge, my former family name. The sequence of my name was slightly changed. Since I have always used the name Christian, it was natural to place it first. That was the only reason.
A disagreement between one of my many cousins and I, my mother’s admissions to hospital and the surrounding circumstances probably affected me for some time after my studies.
There are probably many reasons why I have not had a ‘career’, i.e. a job spanning many years, but I am not blaming anybody. I could say that my career started with a system I worked on from 2005-2011, but this came to a halt for the special reasons that I have mentioned.
I found my way, however, when I first started working on my sports project.
I have never claimed to be infallible and with introspectiveness, I would certainly be able to recall several situations when I should have acted slightly different. At such times, it’s natural to be self-critical.
But, for me, this could be about one’s own human weakness, not ill-will. Sometimes it’s concerned choices that have been made by other people, and circumstances and coincidences beyond my control.
When encountering challenges in life, one often has options on how to solve to them. For example, I have never chosen or had any intentions to kill people or to have people imprisoned. The reports that I have made to the police have normally been submitted when someone has gone too far. It’s not my job to assess how such reports should be handled.
Before continuing, I want to make it clear that Noka Securities and Nokas were two independent companies that had nothing to do with each another.
I had a summer job at Noka Securities many years ago. The company later went bankrupt and my actions, of course, could never be linked to the choices that were taken leading up the bankruptcy. Before going into this any further, I want to stress that I respect the man who was the general manager, regardless of what happened. Often, you want to give something back to people who do something positive for you, but due to the problems I have encountered in recent years, I simply have not had the capacity to cope with anything else.
During this summer job, I was assigned the job of checking the security of European and American type of options for a period of time, however I continually asked the general manager and others if I was doing the job correctly. I did exactly as I was told.
I believe that one must take responsibility for the choices one makes. When looking back at the events surrounding me after 2011, I can forgive people for the mistakes they made about me, but I am not responsible for their actions. I am, however, responsible for my own actions and, as previously mentioned, I must be self-critical about my own mistakes. As said, I am not perfect.
Noka Securities liquidity problems could probably have been solved in various ways. If it concerned non-payment from individual customers for a day or two, a telephone call could have been made to the customers to enquire when payment would be made. One would have sought an explanation and corrected it.
Banks should not have a problem with giving backup for a couple of days nor should it have been difficult to obtain more capital from external parties (in my opinion, Noka Securities could also have asked many of their employees) and, as far as I can remember, the general manager had a good reputation in the trade.
So, the fact that the company went into dissolution did not have anything to do with me.
Having said that, I am responsible for my own actions. I shall be honest about my own weaknesses and be humble about them. Nokas’ bankruptcy nor the actions of others prior to 22nd July, i.e. the terrorist attack on 22nd July, concerned any decisions made by me.
Amongst other things, Nokas’ bankruptcy happened because the law was broken, as there was not enough security for options. At least that’s what I recall. I did not break any laws there. I did everything I was told to in terms of checking security.
As mentioned, I too have made some mistakes since 2011 and I apologise for those. But the consequences of the mistakes of others have led to unacceptable outcomes for me.
I am not totally blind and stupid, but there is a lot that I do not know. I understand this, but
is it right to rationalise one’s own mistakes with the mistakes of others? I believe it’s possible to understand an action if one looks at the event that led up to the action, but one is responsible for one’s own actions and the choices one makes. My actions after May 2011, with the exception of some emails and tweets that could be criticised, concerns lawful actions caused by crimes committed against me. Taking into account what people normally consider laws to be in Norway.
With regard to Noka, I never had any agenda against the general manager. On the contrary, but it is possible that competitors or others might have had an agenda against him. As mentioned, my recollection is that he was a respected man.
The events that have occurred, especially after 22nd July, almost feel like a big Norwegian family argument in which the Norwegian people have been the family. Possibly an argument in which some foreigners have also been involved, perhaps putting lives and health at risk.
This might not be so strange, but I think someone should have said stop many years ago.
Even though I haven’t been responsible for any serious events, I still believe they have affected me. I think someone has ruined numerous opportunities for me since May 2011. But what can one do but accept it, and forgive and deal with what is to come as best you can? Revenge is not an option in my world, even though the past has occasionally irritated me, particularly, because of the ‘other routes’ or extra work that I have to take due to the mistakes of others. This involves having to confront the consequences suffered.
Those responsible should come to their senses.
If the forces behind are strong and powerful enough, time can manipulate stories in a way to best serves a party, regardless of the actual events. This is regrettable. Yes, time heals, but that’s another aspect of the matter. It might be easier to see things clearer in later years, but at the same time it might appear to do the opposite.
If supported by enough capital and power, events and evidence can actually be manipulated and fabricated. Indeed the more time that elapses after an event the more distance is placed between the event, what people thought, and what they were doing before and during the event. This could be important information for understanding the course of events and liability. This is a strong argument for a limitation period in such cases or at least more stringent evidence requirements over time or the requirement of a confession for convictions after numerous years.
Evidence should be presented quickly for clarification of matters.
Over time, people and evidence can be manipulated and witnesses can die, etc.
I’ve prepared several reports to the police over the last few months regarding the events after 2011, in addition to those I’ve already submitted. For example, regarding the stealing of my personal data. I could report multiple parties, but I’m waiting, as I believe that some of them should perhaps be given the opportunity to apologize. How long I am prepared to wait, depends on their future actions.
If things continue to normalize I will look forward and leave it behind.
For a long time before and after 22nd July, I was focusing on my project. I didn’t understand the threats, and I believe I was subject to and irritated over personal persecution. Perhaps I was unfair to suspect some of the people I believed were responsible and this was probably expressed through some delusions surrounding this. I didn’t know.
The only way I could let off steam, as I saw it then, was to write and express my thoughts privately. I never intended to share my thoughts with others. If you can call what I said or wrote alone in my private sphere without sharing it ‘crazy’, I can say that it was never about planning unlawful acts, but some about understanding criminality and terrorism based on the feelings I had. I would call it fiction. There was no intention of physically harming anybody in any way. Therefore, illness was never considered in terms of that. It was never about anger leading to such acts. As mentioned earlier, someone got hung up on something that was for me a search for understanding and I bought a book in connection with this, which I have been open about previously.
I didn’t know that somebody was logging my keystrokes nor did know who it was. It did not occur to me that somebody would be willing to use the relevant data in the way it has been used. It’s unbelievable and crazy.
If I had shared such data with others it would have been different, although I believe that good common sense and a general understanding of what one is doing or not doing should have opened somebody’s eyes. This should have been stopped when someone stole my data. My typing was never the problem.
It is inconceivable that someone with a motive connected to my work would misuse the data in the way they have.
I did not threaten anybody. Physical threats were never made against anybody during or after this period. I have also explained this many times before on my blog and in videos with slightly different wording, but the primary explanation is the same. As previously mentioned, some of it concerned the expression of my own feelings in the search for understanding. That’s the truth. It was just random typing, like the air we breath out. Totally oblivious to me. It’s completely natural for me to abide by the law, as I have always done with some few minor exceptions not relevant to this story. I would call it life experience that all people have. Those who know me, know this.
Was I the only one who thought out-of-the box after 22nd July? I don’t think so. Sadly, for those with interests that conflict mine, all the events linked to 22nd July were not caused by me, but by others.
If I have played a role in past events, it’s been the role of a victim of theft and acquisitive crime, and if I had caught wind that something would happen prior to the events on 22nd July, I would certainly have tried to stop them immediately.
Everybody I was in contact with in 2011, and before and after, knows that I have never had anything to do with Breivik nor 22nd July.
I do wonder, however, if 22nd July might also have been an attack on my family and relatives with a motive attached to my project in that someone could have tried to make it appear that I was involved and that I had the same motive. The purpose to create division and make it harder for me to further develop it.
I also wonder if someone was tricked or manipulated to share my personal data in a charade to get them to believe that they had contributed towards 22nd July.
In this respect, perhaps an attempt was made to manipulate members of my family and relatives.
This is the root of all the problems, not my family or relatives, and the people behind may have a responsibility for consequences after 2011. It may have been a terrible mistake.
I have fought for many years against the suspicion that someone has been monitoring my keystrokes, starting with delivering my Pcs to Ibas the summer 2011.
Had someone needed information from me in 2011 they should have talked with me.
I’ve never been particularly active in politics, but for natural reasons and the experiences after 2011, I’ve been forced to think about the bad sections of society.
I’ve seen many weaknesses in the system that politicians have not addressed.
However, I will be focusing on job-creating activities in the future, for example, work on my projects.
Briefly about my relatives
I’m not religious but I respect religions, and I think there are many common values for religions and humanism which I believe in.
Briefly about my relatives
My relatives on my father’s side originate from Stabekk in Bærum where my grandparents ran a hardware store for several years. This is now an interior business, which is still run by relatives. The commercial building near Stabekk Station (the large brick building) was built by my great-grandfather in his time and has wholly or partly been owned by relatives since then.
My grandparents on my mother’s side ran a shipping company for many years, which my grandmother inherited from my great-grandparents. My great-grandfather inherited the company from my great-great-grandparents. It was then considered large-scale, and he split it into many shipping companies for several siblings (sailing under the Ditlev-Simonsen flag). The initial intention was that my parents would take over and continue to run the family shipping company after my grandparents, which they also did for a few years. In connection with the company being flagged out to Hong Kong, my siblings and I moved to Hong Kong with my parents when we were little. I attended both a Norwegian and English school during the six months we were there before returning to Norway.
My parents divorce led to an aunt and uncle taking over and running the company for a few years before it was dissolved 15-20 years ago. Exactly how the change happened Im not sure about but my parents ownership was transferred to my grandparents or aunt or uncle more or less for free (which I also think was right and felt natural to people then but generous by my parents). Beyond that, there is not much to say. As far as I know, no friendships between close relatives were broken through this.
My grandparents also had a large farm in Hedmark, which is now run by my uncle, male cousin and their family. My grandfather’s parents bought it around 100 years ago. As far as I know, one of my great-grandmother’s was the daughter of the owner of Tidemanstobakk fabrikk [tobacco factory] (I have never had any relation to the Andresen Family except through this relative). I lived on this farm for a few months and attended a local school. I was probably around 8-9-years-old then.
For me, there have never been any hurt feelings in terms of the differences in my family. Some reflections now and again, yes, and momentary irritation on occasion when I think of the past, but nothing beyond that. No deep hard feelings about the differences in the family. I have already mentioned the one significant thing in a different context and I put that behind me many many years ago.
Otherwise, one of my great-grandfather’s was known as the father of the City Hall (not the founder, which I once confused it with), one great-grandfather headed the organization committee of the 1952 Olympic Games in Oslo, and my other great-grandfather won a silver medal for eventing during the Olympic games. My family has long sport traditions in Østfold, which has partly inspired me in the project I worked on from 2005-2011.
Another of my forefathers operated within waste management.
So, my family is quite diverse and I have many siblings, cousins, second cousins, etc., many of whom will recognize themselves in some of the history of our family.
I am curious about the consequences of some decisions taken particulary after 22nd july, and I think there should be an awareness that it is possible mistakes have been made, and that is possible some have influenced negatively on some peoples lives. I’m not sure, except for the fact that I know mistakes have been made against me, and therefore also possible mistakes to have been made against others. Maybe there should be a compensation to these people.
(A major part of this text was translated from Norwegian to English by a professional translator, then some changes made by me later)